I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
