i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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