see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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