I just cut my nipple shaving
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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