YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
