in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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