So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
