Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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