I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
