You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
