but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
