So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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