So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
