I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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