guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
