wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize