Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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