okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
