Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
