So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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