WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
