All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
