Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize