Apparently you make a good broom.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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