i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize