It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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