I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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