Sry I called you an 8
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
