You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
