the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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