kristin has been a bad kristin
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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