Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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