Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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