3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
