guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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