the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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