Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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