I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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