I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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