farters have to be the big spoon...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
