I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
