oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You smell like stripper and shame
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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