Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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