Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
