I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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