No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
