so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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