If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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