flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
