I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
