put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
