I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
