I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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