He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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