Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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