Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
