i think my mom watched the whole time
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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