Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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