So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
