I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
please don't ironically join a cult
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